close
May 07, 2007
By Heidi N. Schulz
Old and new homework papers spilling out of backpacks, floor covered with heaps of questionably clean clothes, the bed populated with a menagerie of stuffed animals - my new client was a thirteen-year-old with a bedroom that needed organization.
"Missy" was giving me a tour of the clutter zones, and as she tugged on the closet door, it popped open, releasing an avalanche of more than 400 stuffed animals.
Missy and her mom had reached an impasse over the fate of the animals. I was there as a neutral third party to help evaluate, de-clutter, and organize the room to reflect her new teenage status. Additionally, Mom wanted her daughter to learn how to make choices and "let go of stuff" in a positive and mindful way.
A motivated thirteen-year-old is a joy to work with, and Missy began sorting with enthusiasm. We set up a string of large boxes: donation, garage sale, keep, maybes, and most important, precious treasures.
Clothes were first on the agenda, and she quickly filled the boxes with outgrown or "roadkill" (translation—yucky) items. Deeply buried, the first treasure soon emerged, a long-lost CD case filled with favorite songs. Missy was ecstatic and said that finding it made the whole day a success.
Finally the closet was accessible, and Missy plunked down on the floor while I began heaving out a stream of Beanie Babies, bears, frogs, and giant chair critters that almost buried her.
As she sorted, Missy shared with me that when her parents were divorcing three years ago, she was sad and depressed. She knew that after the divorce was finalized, they would be moving out of their home. Her dad would leave town, and she would be changing schools and moving away from her friends. To soothe some of the loss, Missy and her mother would go almost every day to buy another stuffed animal. The animals became her dearest friends, and she would tell them all her fears and sorrows. We talked about how important the animals were to her during that difficult transition, and Missy decided she wanted to honor them. I suggested we take photographs of her surrounded by all the animals she was giving away so she would always remember them. As I snapped pictures, Missy chatted away to each animal, thanking it for being such a special friend and explaining to it that some other kid would love it as much as she did. Then she would kiss and hug it and happily throw it into the appropriate box.
Missy was refreshingly verbal, connected to her feelings and comfortable with me. At first she struggled to decide between favorites "Fluffy" the bunny and "Dino" the dinosaur. She loved to cuddle and hug "Big Bear" and "Lillie the Kitty." I asked her to think about her animals in categories of "friends," "acquaintances," or "strangers," and decisions suddenly became easier. Animals she didn't even recall buying – strangers - went away quickly. Friends, Missy's well-loved buddies, were set aside to populate the room in places of honor. Now she only had acquaintances to choose between, with criteria such as "are you huggable or stiff," "cute or ugly," or "have I grown away from you?" to determine their fate.
Mom was sensitive to her commitment to stay out of our way and appeared only to remove bulging garbage bags, garage sale and donation boxes, and to applaud Missy's progress. She also answered the doorbell, rung impatiently by Missy's friends who wanted to play with her.
Now the population of Missy's menagerie was cut in half, to less than 200 toys, and her creative juices started to flow as she saw her bedroom's potential. Towers of colorful "cubbies" went into the closet for easy access to stack her jeans, Ts, shorts, and tops. We identified laundry as an organizing pitfall and adopted the theory that as long as clothes transitioned smoothly from dryer to drawer, cubbie or basket, that "unfolded is OK." Socks went into the top dresser drawer, undies in the next. Missy's confidence grew as her creative personality infused the room.
A follow-up call two weeks later brought me up-to-date. Our momentum had inspired Missy to initiate a de-cluttering in the guest room. "Mom, it's nothing but a dumping ground!" They powered through it in one morning, generating more garage sale items. And that threatened garage sale actually happened.
Missy said at first she felt sad seeing her toys leave, but then she saw how excited the kids who bought them were. Counting up the proceeds from the sale sent her spirits soaring when the grand total reached almost $100 - a healthy boost toward their upcoming Hawaiian vacation fund.
Missy reported that her room is easy to keep picked up, and the closet system worked well. Now that the floor is visible, she and her new girlfriends hang out in the room, and she frequently has sleepovers. What a difference from a year ago when Missy was the odd-one-out socially and having a tough time adjusting to her new school.
Missy's menagerie had supported her emotionally during the difficult changes in her family and her transition into junior high, but with her thirteenth birthday, she had reached a tipping point. It was time to make some changes. With just a little support and encouragement, her room project became a pivotal opportunity for her to learn about taking ownership of her possessions, become actively involved in the household, and make her own choices and decisions as she enters her teen years.
"Missy" was giving me a tour of the clutter zones, and as she tugged on the closet door, it popped open, releasing an avalanche of more than 400 stuffed animals.
Missy and her mom had reached an impasse over the fate of the animals. I was there as a neutral third party to help evaluate, de-clutter, and organize the room to reflect her new teenage status. Additionally, Mom wanted her daughter to learn how to make choices and "let go of stuff" in a positive and mindful way.
A motivated thirteen-year-old is a joy to work with, and Missy began sorting with enthusiasm. We set up a string of large boxes: donation, garage sale, keep, maybes, and most important, precious treasures.
Clothes were first on the agenda, and she quickly filled the boxes with outgrown or "roadkill" (translation—yucky) items. Deeply buried, the first treasure soon emerged, a long-lost CD case filled with favorite songs. Missy was ecstatic and said that finding it made the whole day a success.
Finally the closet was accessible, and Missy plunked down on the floor while I began heaving out a stream of Beanie Babies, bears, frogs, and giant chair critters that almost buried her.
As she sorted, Missy shared with me that when her parents were divorcing three years ago, she was sad and depressed. She knew that after the divorce was finalized, they would be moving out of their home. Her dad would leave town, and she would be changing schools and moving away from her friends. To soothe some of the loss, Missy and her mother would go almost every day to buy another stuffed animal. The animals became her dearest friends, and she would tell them all her fears and sorrows. We talked about how important the animals were to her during that difficult transition, and Missy decided she wanted to honor them. I suggested we take photographs of her surrounded by all the animals she was giving away so she would always remember them. As I snapped pictures, Missy chatted away to each animal, thanking it for being such a special friend and explaining to it that some other kid would love it as much as she did. Then she would kiss and hug it and happily throw it into the appropriate box.
Missy was refreshingly verbal, connected to her feelings and comfortable with me. At first she struggled to decide between favorites "Fluffy" the bunny and "Dino" the dinosaur. She loved to cuddle and hug "Big Bear" and "Lillie the Kitty." I asked her to think about her animals in categories of "friends," "acquaintances," or "strangers," and decisions suddenly became easier. Animals she didn't even recall buying – strangers - went away quickly. Friends, Missy's well-loved buddies, were set aside to populate the room in places of honor. Now she only had acquaintances to choose between, with criteria such as "are you huggable or stiff," "cute or ugly," or "have I grown away from you?" to determine their fate.
Mom was sensitive to her commitment to stay out of our way and appeared only to remove bulging garbage bags, garage sale and donation boxes, and to applaud Missy's progress. She also answered the doorbell, rung impatiently by Missy's friends who wanted to play with her.
Now the population of Missy's menagerie was cut in half, to less than 200 toys, and her creative juices started to flow as she saw her bedroom's potential. Towers of colorful "cubbies" went into the closet for easy access to stack her jeans, Ts, shorts, and tops. We identified laundry as an organizing pitfall and adopted the theory that as long as clothes transitioned smoothly from dryer to drawer, cubbie or basket, that "unfolded is OK." Socks went into the top dresser drawer, undies in the next. Missy's confidence grew as her creative personality infused the room.
A follow-up call two weeks later brought me up-to-date. Our momentum had inspired Missy to initiate a de-cluttering in the guest room. "Mom, it's nothing but a dumping ground!" They powered through it in one morning, generating more garage sale items. And that threatened garage sale actually happened.
Missy said at first she felt sad seeing her toys leave, but then she saw how excited the kids who bought them were. Counting up the proceeds from the sale sent her spirits soaring when the grand total reached almost $100 - a healthy boost toward their upcoming Hawaiian vacation fund.
Missy reported that her room is easy to keep picked up, and the closet system worked well. Now that the floor is visible, she and her new girlfriends hang out in the room, and she frequently has sleepovers. What a difference from a year ago when Missy was the odd-one-out socially and having a tough time adjusting to her new school.
Missy's menagerie had supported her emotionally during the difficult changes in her family and her transition into junior high, but with her thirteenth birthday, she had reached a tipping point. It was time to make some changes. With just a little support and encouragement, her room project became a pivotal opportunity for her to learn about taking ownership of her possessions, become actively involved in the household, and make her own choices and decisions as she enters her teen years.
全站熱搜
留言列表
